May The Deserted Believer Remarry?

I Corinthians 7:15 does not teach that the desertion of a believer by his unbelieving mate dissolves the marriage and frees the believer to marry another. The notion that such is the meaning of the passage rests upon a misunderstanding of the words, “is not under bondage in such cases”.

Men read the phrase as though it were, “is not (any longer) bound (namely, to the deserting mate) in such cases.” To be “under bondage” and to be “bound” are two different thoughts and two different words, both in English and in the Greek of the New Testament; and it is inexcusable that interpreters of Scripture confuse them.

Paul does not say that the deserted believer is not “bound” to his former mate in such cases, as though God had now dissolved the bond that He made when He joined the two in marriage. But the apostle says that the deserted believer is not “under bondage.” This refers to the spiritual state of the believer who has been abandoned by his wife. He need feel no guilt or shame over his marital condition, such as might cause him to live in constant fear of God’s condemnation of him because he is not living with his wife, or such as might even cause him to try to get the woman back at the expense of his confession of Christ. Not being under bondage in the text is not a ground for remarrying, but a ground for letting the unbeliever depart.

That not being under bondage describes one’s spiritual state before God is borne out by the words in the text that express the opposite of being under bondage: “but God hath called us to peace.” Peace is not, by any stretch of the imagination, the right to remarry, but the spiritual state of a believer who lives in the enjoyment of God’s favor, regardless of the most miserable circumstances of earthly life.

If Paul taught in verse 15 that desertion is the dissolution of marriage and the granting of the right to remarry, he would have flagrantly contradicted what he would write a few verses later. For in verse 39 he stated in clearest and sharpest language that married people are “bound” (not: “under bondage”) to each other for life, and that death, and death only, gives a married woman the liberty to marry another.

The teaching of the Westminster Confession of Faith in Chapter XXIV, VI, that “nothing but adultery, or such willful desertion as can no way be remedied by the church or civil magistrate, is cause sufficient of dissolving the bond of marriage . . . ,” is corruption of the Biblical truth of marriage, with deadly serious consequences for those who carry it out in their practice.

Marriage is a life-long bond. The deserted believer, although not under bondage, is very definitely still bound to the woman who has deserted him (as verse 39 establishes beyond any doubt). He is not at liberty to marry another.

Our young people must reckon with this solemn fact when they date and marry. It is possible to marry an unbeliever in haste, only to repent in the leisure of a long, lonely life, because the unbeliever departs. But it is also possible that a believer is deserted by one who gave every evidence before marriage of being a believer, but who proves herself an unbeliever by deserting. The comfort of this believer is the Holy Spirit’s purpose in the text. It simply has nothing whatever to do with the subject of the grounds for divorce and remarriage.

By David J. Engelsma

3 Comments on “May The Deserted Believer Remarry?

  1. Question: Above it says its possible that a believer is deserted by one who gave every evidence before marriage of being a believer, but who proves herself an unbeliever by deserting.

    So what comes to my mind is David. We all know that David was still a believer even while committing adultery and murder. Can we say for sure someone is an unbeliever by deserting?? Please someone help me with this. I understand Christians will show repentance

    • Hello Mitch.

      A wife deserting her Christian husband gives us every reason to believe that she is walking in darkness. She shows hatred towards her husband and thus hatred towards a child of God and according to 1st John such a one is still in darkness.

      If she repents and comes back to her husband in sorrow for what she has done then that evidences a repentant heart.

      I hope that this helps answer your question.

  2. Untill she repents and joins the home and society of the believing husband, he should not at all consider remarying, because the ‘one flesh’ bond is still valid irrespective of her unfaithfulness. Its too bad this is ignored. Yes it is not easy, but it has never been easy if you would choose the narrow path.

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